"When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him." (Proverbs 16:7 ESV)
This may seem like common sense to most of you, but a divorce does not bring peace. When I was living in my first marriage, all I wanted was peace. I wanted a home that was filled with the quiet contentment of being in a family where everyone was loved and secure. While B and I are working hard to achieve this in our home, it's becoming very apparent that we are facing external enemies that are working to destroy our peace.
The above verse has been hanging in our kitchen for the past few months, and it's one that we've been clinging to, but the Lord gave us a chance to put it into practice last night.
Without going into too many details, we had parent conferences for the triplets, who are in 1st grade. During that time spent with B's ex-wife, we were lied to, lied about, and vilified. Though we haven't been married for long, I consider the triplets to be as much my children as P. I know the hurt, pain, and confusion they have experienced at the hands of their mother, but last night I was able to witness first hand the all-consuming hate that would love to destroy our attempt at a godly marriage. It's the kind of hate that you really have to experience before you can believe it exists. The kind that leaves no doubt that we are facing many enemies.
By God' grace alone, I was able to keep my mouth shut and not try to correct the wrongs being spoken about us. B was also able to focus on the task at hand, interact with the teachers, and ignore the negative. We were able to get the information we needed about the kids, their grades, and how to best help them, which is why we were there.
After a dinner filled with me spouting off about all of the wrongs dealt us (just for clarification - the children were NOT with us during this time), we went home were the first thing I saw was this verse, and I was reminded that the Lord calls for me to please HIM with my ways, no one else. He promises that if I live a life pleasing to the LORD, eventually even my enemies will have nothing negative to say about me. And even if they try, no one will believe them :)
I know we have a long road ahead of us as we raise our children. I know that I won't always be able to stay calm like I did last night. But I also know that if I keep my focus on HIM, my enemies will eventually be left speechless.