"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;" (2 Corinthinans 4:8 ESV)
This past weekend was hard. I mean, really hard. It seems like we're beening bombarded on all fronts. It began with my car breaking down in the rain on Friday, continued through B. and I both struggling with medical issues, and ended with hateful emails and disobedient children. To say it left us feeling overwhelmed would be an understatement.
But do you know what upset me most of all? That I didn't get to do what I wanted to do. Yes, my thoughts were that selfish.
You see, I had spent a lot of time planning two surprise dates for our weekend. On Saturday, we were supposed to drop P off at my aunt's, then head to dinner at Outback and go to a corn maze in the dark. I had even made up this cute invitation for B:
But because of the car breaking down, and P getting sick, and our other various ailments rearing their ugly heads, we didn't get to go. I knew B. felt that it was his fault, and the last thing I wanted was to make him feel guilty about it. My flesh though, wanted to throw a fit about it. I held off, but it was only because of my love for B. and my concern for his well-being. Had the situation been a little less serious, I can't honestly say that I would have been as gracious about it. I was very convicted over my selfishness and the potential problems that it could create in our future.
But as we were going to bed last night, B. reminded me that God is in the process of growing us. As I thought over the events of the weekend, I saw many areas in which God was teaching us to work together as a couple, and strengthening our bond, and I have to say, I do feel much closer to him than I did before.
The biggest lesson though was mine, and as I pondered the ways things went versus the way they could have gone, I was thankful to the Lord for challenging me and providing me a chance to grow as a wife. I only hope that the next time it will be easier for me to disregard the selfish route and put my family first without thought.